On Women’s Day, do spare a thought for men
Posted by 498A_Crusader on March 6, 2008
Ahmedabad, March 5 After suffering in silence for long, husbands are on the march. And the last one to join their ranks is an NRI businessman who hails from Bhavnagar. Sixty-nine-year-old Deepakbhai Patel (name changed) is involved in a bitter matrimonial dispute. Back in Gujarat, his wife has filed around 70 cases of dowry and domestic violence and property in Bhavnagar and Ahmedabad. The charges are all trumped up, he says, the purpose just to teach him a lesson. That was when an acquaintance in Kuwait told him about an Ahmedabad-based pan-India organisation of men persecuted by disgruntled spouses.
Deepakbhai says: “The Akhil Bharatiya Patni Atyachaar Virodhi Sangh (ABPAVS) gave me strength. I met many men who were similarly wounded, whose wives had lodged frivolous cases against them. I found the resolve to soldier on.”
Dalsukh Patel, a US-based NRI businessman, is in a similar quandary. His wife has filed a dowry case against him and is even in possession of his house in Ahmedabad. “I have to live in a dharamsala, my own house is out of bounds for me. But I will fight to get my name cleared. The support of the Sangh had toughened my resolve,” he says.
The ABPAVS, a organisation of tortured husbands founded in 1994, has seen a small but steady rise in the number of NRIs joining its fold. Of its 32,000 members, 13 are from abroad. Three joined last year, 10 this year.
Dashrath Devda, founder president of the ABPAVS, who was inspired from his own traumatic experience after his wife filed a false dowry case against him, says: “The number of NRI men has definitely increased. There are many more who still have to come out of the closet. In our society, it is not easy for a man to say that he gets beaten by his wife.”
The ABPAVS members does not only include men, but also mothers and sisters of such men.
“The anti-dowry legislation is so clearly loaded in favour of women that men have little chance of fighting it,” Devda says.
“Dowry is a big problem, but men being falsely implicated in it is no small issue.”
The domestic violence law can so easily by misused by a vengeful wife. “We have among our members IAS and IPS officers, doctors, engineers and people from all walks of life. The problem of being exploited by wives is far graver than it is believed to be,” he says.
Membership of the organisation comes after a background check. Men with a history of alcoholism, or violently behaviour are usually shown the door.
Complete personal details of the members, including the cases filed against them, is kept.
To create more awareness and sensitivity in the society about their plight, the ABPAVS is holding a demonstration where over 250 members are expected to attend on March 8 — International Women’s Day.
As Devda, who was a driver by profession, says: “The laws right now are like Maruti Esteem for the women. At least have a small run-down Maruti 800 for the men.”
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