Desperate Asian women faking virginity in Britain

London, March 4 (IANS) Some Asian women in Britain are going to great lengths to fake their virginity, driven to desperation by concepts of ‘honour’ in a community where myths about their first sexual experience is still widely held, an Asian radio station reported.

If found to have sex before marriage, the lives of some young Asian women can be at risk and they can be driven away from their homes, experts and community workers told the BBC Asian Network documentary “Like a Virgin”, broadcast Monday.

As a result, desperate young women are using fake blood and even going in for reconstructive surgery to fake their virginity, the investigative radio documentary reported.

In an echo of social attitudes held in many parts of the Indian subcontinent, the programme found that most of the 17 to 21 year old men interviewed in the region of West Midlands – home to a large number of Asians – preferred women to be virgins at marriage.

Concepts of ‘izzat’ – or honour – are strongly held among some conservative Asian communities in Britain and have been linked not only to the practice of forced marriage but also, in some cases, the murder of young women.

An adviser formerly with the national sexual health charity Brook said she personally received requests for information on faking virginity on a daily basis from young Asian women – and that she provided the information because she feared for the safety of these women.

She said: “They would sometimes come in to the centre because they were concerned about the fact that maybe they had had unprotected sex with a boyfriend and they were concerned about whether other men would know they had had sex before and were not a virgin.

“The discussions would then go around some of the myths around virginity… that girls bleed on the first time of having sexual intercourse. So we were able to say, ‘lots of girls don’t’.

“The problem is that lots of men and lots of people within the (Asian) community believe that that is true, and therefore they (young women) are very concerned that they will get married and they won’t bleed and their husband will believe they weren’t a virgin at marriage and all the problems that that would cause them in life.”

She said women were using red dye and mock blood that can be bought from novelty shops that they inserted into their vaginas or spread on the bed sheet after having sex. One Pakistani woman said she knew someone who had used a bottle of red ink – and got away with it. “Her mother-in-law was very happy,” said the woman.

Underlining the seriousness of the issue, the adviser said she agreed to provide information on how to fake virginity because “for some young women the risks to them and their personal safety were so great that if they were not able to fake it then the consequences could have been dire.”"

A community worker who works with young Asians in west London said some girls have had to flee their homes and go into shelter “because their life is on the line. Somebody may have found out”.

Linda Cardozo, a gynaecologist at Kings College Hospital in London, said some desperate Asian women were seeking reconstructive hymen-repair surgery, but that it was “quite difficult to achieve” the repair because there may not always be enough tissues to bring together.

In any case, there was no guarantee that the woman would bleed.

“The main aim of hymen repair is to bleed on wedding night, but of course there are many women who don’t bleed on their wedding night, whether they are virgins or not.

“This is because the hymen may be very stretchy, they may have used tampons for menstruation, they may have had lot of exercise and subtle tissues and therefore there are many women who have their first intercourse without bleeding at all.

“So there’s no guarantee these women will achieve the aim they set out to achieve,” the doctor added.

Although some 24 such repairs had been performed in the state health sector, the vast majority of such surgeries are thought to take place in the private sector, which each surgery costs between 1,500 and 2,000 pounds. ($3,000-4,000)

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Letter to President of India – Problems of Mother INDIA

I wish you to read this letter of mine in which I’ve  expressed my thoughts and dreams about our great country.

First of all let me  introduce myself. I’m Surabhi of 10th standard studying in Rotary West  School in Mysore.

I wish to get a chance to talk to you, but don’t know  if my dream can be made to. So I thought I will at least correspond  with you because I know what ever busy schedule you have you always make  yourself free to spend some time for children.

I’ve strongly made up my mind to do something for our country though not as much as you expect  at least a little to make my memories in this earth a happy one.

I’ve  started gathering information about Pollution, Population and Poverty. I wish to share with you a bit of information I’ve collected and my  idea about it hoping that you can suggest how well I could go about  planning it. Well I personally feel that it’s not only soldiers who have to  contribute: but also duty of every citizen. Though may not be a big  sacrifice like our soldiers but a little that each can do according to our  capacity. Sir as you know today we are facing many problems, such as  Poverty, Pollution and Population.

I really believe that population is never going to cause much trouble if the manpower is utilized in the right and proper way. We can definitely work, if all take the trouble of educating and guiding others. How can we underestimate ourselves by  comparing to the other countries? And of course Poverty will never be found  if we take care of Population. They go as the two faces of the same  coin. Now only thing, which we need to look into, is Pollution. How can we  contribute to prevent it or even stop it? Here are some examples of  different countries and their care towards nature.

Today many programs to  warn people have been carried out in Europe, America Australia and  Japan. They also celebrate the world pollution day like us; but in a  different way. The earth protecting soldiers of ‘green peace’ climbs the  chimneys of the big industries, which eliminate more smoke, and they will  write, “Pure air is our right”. They will put enamel paint on the seals  to see that no hunter is going to hunt them for their skin. They also  tie the mouth of the pipes inside the rivers, which will be lead out by  the industries.

Not only this: in 1995 there was a special program to  find the small beautiful insects called Ladybird in Britain. A number  of students, children and also many people searched all over and at  last, they did find many species of Ladybird. Another such group work was  regarding the frogs. Many frogs while crossing the roads in rainy season  die under vehicles passing through on roads. To avoid this the young  students help them in crossing the roads. The most amazing thing is; they adopt the highway, which pass through their place and look after them  with care. They never wait for the government to come and repair the  road because they really can’t be patient till a decision could be taken  by the Government and getting through loss their life because in their  action only the minds of students are involved.

In some parts of America they adopt rivers. There will be river wardens to look after those  rivers. The government will give a badge to them so that they will be  provided employment and also a good recognition. They will be paid for  their work. By all these people get employment and there will be no  pollution and cleanliness will be maintained.

Though all these can’t be  taken overnight but it has become a part of their daily routine, which we  are very much aware. We do have many solutions for all these problems. I  feel strongly that if we see something good in others it’s better we  adopt them. Anyway we have more natural facilities and we could do  definitely more than anyone. We can conduct Re-Cycling competition in which  new materials have been taken out from waste. In each and every colony  the children of that particular colony can make a group and look after  their colonies. Strictly banning plastic bags can also help to reduce  pollution. Conducting talks on pollution may bring some awareness among  the students. I’m just talking about the children because they are  tomorrow’s citizens.

Now it’s the time to question ourselves as to where we  are lagging behind ? I think children are the one who can make this  country a developed one. But today names of heroes and heroines will be in  the tip of the tongues but not that of freedom fighters. Today seeing  bad films has spoiled the children. We are going abroad and learning  their culture instead of spreading ours. All these because of lack of  patriotic feeling in one’s heart.

Ma’am I don’t know whether I’m right or wrong. But I felt that you are the only person with whom I can share my thoughts because I know that you patiently listen to children. If I have made any mistake please pardon me.
With Love and Regards

Surabhi